Woke up just not wanting to do this day today. My bed was feeling wonderful, and for a brief moment all was so well. That stupid alarm clock just kept going off. Grrrr! I was not looking forward to today. I didn't feel prepared to go over everything with my clinical instructor. And I'm not particularly fabulous at focusing at this time in my life.
But a ray of sunshine picked me up this morning to head to Cedar. Oh Miss Amy you are a rock star! Aaaah decompressing my brain and all my worries on this poor soul! She has no idea what a true blessing and friend she is. By the time we got to Cedar I was still a little shaky but not trying to figure out how we could get run off the road. And my desperate prayer for a horrible snow storm didn't pan out! Dang it!
Oh..I just think about entering that building. It is like going to my moms. Warm, welcoming and comforting. The most incredible people I have the honor of working with and learning beside. Truly amazing. I got to have 2 hugs right off the bat! I love that I just have to say "it's ok". And they hear all that is behind that "ok". Working where I work and who I have the opportunity to work with is a different animal compared to the rest of the world. Maybe it is mental health. It is pretty real in there. Offers are true, and not trite. Love is true and given freely. Feedback is given without disdain or without thoughts of tearing you down. And they always want to know what "really" is going on. Not the fluff, or a smile...the real down and dirty. I LOVE IT! It hurts of course, but it makes it easier to get out and think about it with sounding boards to help. Of course they are quite trained in this ability ;-) it is after all what they do.
My clinical instructor- time, didn't go well. I will not be able to use the site I have been using. This is going to be causing a delay in finishing my STUPID MASTERS PROGRAM!!!!! Until about March. UGH! I'm so tired of it I just could SPIT!
Called Jeremie's sweet Nurse Jen at Dr. Lemons Clinic. Left a message, explaining how Jeremie is hurting like crazy, can't sit up, isn't holding anything down. And if they could please take his labs there (usually I don't like them there, it costs me $60, as opposed to free at IHC, but I didn't want him suffering going to other facilities just to save $60). Jeremie text me when he was at Dr. Lemons. They had him laying down. Given some I.V. pain medications along with more anti-nausea and 2 large bags of fluids. Aaaahhhhh! I could feel so much relief. I could breath. He will go back into Dr. Lemons tomorrow for more fluids. Then on Wednesday he will have a blood patch placed at the last lumbar puncture site (hope it will help with the headaches) and then will have platelets given (now need to keep above 75,000 due to the weekly lumbar puncture). Then will have another lumbar puncture with chemotherapy.
Jeremie is officially neutropenic, meaning that his neutrophils have dropped below normal. They are at 100 (normal is above 1500). So his immune system is in the tank. NO SICKIES ALOUD!!!! So I scrubbed down the bedroom and have made a forbidden rule of no children in the room.
He seems to be doing a little bit better. He is sitting up a bit, and walking a bit. Ate some ice cream, and Gatorade. I think we are back on the Twinkies diet...small food full of fat/calories. It works amazingly well. Along side some Gatorade and sprite and the occasional ice cream with raspberries :-)
Good Day with the peeps....Jeremie doing better...I think I can smile today :-)
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